February 2, 2018 CityBarn, the night before the horses arrive who gave me back life. I talk to them where they live currently in the north Midwest outside all the time even when it was -24 two weeks ago, today -5, 27/7 in extreme heat and cold 365, I tell them I’m sorry humanity has failed them and I know the fright from family so I too have been a fight or flight human who will never EVER hurt them and that I unconditionally love each and everyone of them horses, 26, 18 pregnant. They are not mine except one once I accepted her months after by birthday 2017 because I swore not to let down my wall at ALL for anything or anyone since February 14, 2012. Time is many things, experience to me, a sadness in humanity starting with my dna family and a sister-in-god!!! Anyway these horses have shown me a level of love man has failed one another let alone many innocent horses. Experience gives you lots of information along with time to define what I’ve always tried to use, my intuition but it’s been abused, confused not allowed to use.
I tell each and every one how much I love them individually & unconditionally with tlc, acceptance, patience, kindness, and never will I hurt them bc I know the level of cruelty human beings are, even in 2018 and although my modern American family let go of me at 40 for an injustice that circles in a cycle and I am ashamed and disgraced to be related to them. To put myself, my mom and dad in positions of conviction from your own opinions, and it’s final, NO TRIAL and 100% denial and thrown away those closest to “kids” is a on them and SHAME on two parents who use kids as pawns to make their own rules and or “laws”.
No maps or short cuts here, tomorrow begins a journey of many years to come with unconditional love starting with day one, Tomorrow February 3, 2018. CityBarn on the farm as we learn along side of horse and man, back to basics it is. Miss Mother Nature and Father Time will define my experience of choice this time for the first time in a nearly 47 year old life who has had to hold EVERYTHING inside forcefully, intentionally, no voice, no choice until now.. so I gotta let it all out.
Day 1 12:02 am February 3, 2018 Central Standard Time..
City Barn, until morning and new lives goodnight.